2 Moms on How They Find “Me Time”

Patricia Alonte-Estrella

A Work In Progress

If Patricia Alonte-Estrella were watching a movie of her life, the title would flash on the screen in bold: A Work In Progress. She'd be sitting in the front row, popcorn in hand, enjoying a motherhood story that constantly unfolds something new.

"It just requires something more of you. Just when you feel like everything's like, "Okay, I got this," And then there's just another surprise that you have to learn how to handle," she shared. "You just have to be flexible and agile, and you have to be so many things at once."

That's how she sees motherhood: a continuous evolution. And she's living it every day as a proud mom of two boys, building a life in Canada with her partner since moving from the Philippines in 2018.

Patricia's schedule is packed with parenting, marriage, and starting a new role in a fintech company. However, whenever she can grab the chance, she tries to spend it with her family, especially her kids: "I would do work from 9:00 to 5:00. The moment it hits 5, if it's not urgent, I'd really focus my attention on my kids."

Finding the “Me” in time

For Patricia, "Me time" often means family time. "If I had free time, I'd usually always be with family or the kids," she said with a smile. It's more than a responsibility; it's a joy. She genuinely loves being with her family, a sentiment many moms can relate to.

That said, she does have a few solo escapes. Travel is one. She enjoys road trips when life isn't too hectic. And when she's home, she and her son try new recipes inspired by Instagram and Disney-themed cookbooks.

Then there's colouring. Yes, colouring.

"I started doing it because I thought it'd be cute. But it actually was helpful, I guess, in the sense that it is my 'Me' time."

When she's not a "mom," "wife," or "career woman," she is just a girl who enjoys colouring cute Japanese characters in a colouring book.

P.S. Here’s a link for the colouring book, in case you are interested.

What Would You Do For Time?

At the time of our chat, Patricia was swamped with work, especially. She admitted she had just come out of one of those "I need a break" moments. When asked how she finds time for herself amid everything, her answer was simple:

"I try to be consistent. If I say, 'Okay, these are my allocated work hours.' I try to be firm with that so I have enough time for myself and other things, but I'm also the type who just walks out or walks away if it's a little overwhelming.

With that response, it's evident that even though Patricia cannot shy away from her many roles, she will etch out any portion of "Me time" she can. And yes, sometimes that "me time" is just an extra-long shower. Although, as Patricia quickly added, "That doesn't apply to kids. If they need you, they'll come barging in."

Mom, Wife, Career Woman, Patricia

Motherhood is beautiful, but it can easily overshadow who you are beyond the role. For Patricia, reconnecting with her whole self often means being around her extended family.

"Especially when I have my parents with me because it's when I feel like you can keep your guard down and you can just be you. I don't have to think about the kids so much because there's somebody who can help," she shared. "I don't feel like I have so much weight on my shoulders or responsibilities that I'm able to feel like most myself."

In the spirit of feeling more like herself, I also asked what she would do if she had 24 hours alone. Factoring in the new job, family, and generally everything going on with her, her answer? Sleep.

'I think I'd just be happy if I could have some quiet time and rest," she added.

And honestly, what mom wouldn't?

Disha Bhat

Superwoman

Meet Disha Bhat, who is 30 years old, raising a daughter in Canada, juggling work and home life, and still holding on to her passions. She jokes that if her motherhood journey were a movie, it'd be titled Superwoman, and frankly, she's not wrong.

"We are expected to do everything that a man would normally do, plus provide nurturing care and all the emotional aspects to your child, be the primary caregiver, and also manage the house," she says.

And she's doing it all while somehow taking time to care for herself.

Dancing Disha

For Disha, "Me time" is how she recharges. That recharge could be a long walk or what I like to call the "Disha Routine".

It starts with a bit of pampering, like skincare or hair care. Then comes her favourite part: dancing.

"I try to find a dance routine online that makes me happy and want to groove. And then I spend time learning it," she shared.

She's always loved dancing; her passion shines through when she shows off her digital diary. Disha learns routines, practices until she nails them, and recreates them for friends, family, or her Instagram.

Tackling routine after routine gives Disha a sense of accomplishment and pride.

"Once I hear some positive feedback, I feel unstoppable. And yeah, just boosts my confidence."
For Disha, dancing is more than just movement. It's a way to keep her body and mind active and a reminder that she's Disha, not just "mom."

"It's something to look back upon and think I wasn't just a mom. I have something else going for me as well."

More Time For Her

Like Patricia, Disha recently hit an "I need a break" moment. Her daughter was sick, and work was hectic even though she shared the load with her husband; moments like those make her miss the extra hands of extended family back in India.

She's learned to pull through by leaning on her partner and putting herself back on the list.
"Having my partner here and just finding those pockets of time for myself helps me get through these overwhelming times."

When she isn't ruling the dance floor, what other ways does Disha put Me in Time? (Blink twice if you find that line cringeworthy.)

"I try to put my daughter to bed by 8. So I do get 2 hours of "Me" time every night when she goes to bed," she explained.

She squeezes in all her guilty pleasures in those two hours: binge-watching reality shows, snacking, and finishing with a soothing skincare routine.

If dance is Disha's first love, travel comes in at a close second. She doesn't get to do it often, but it fills her cup when she does. Two trips hold a special place in her heart. The first, a solo trip to Sri Lanka, left her feeling empowered and reconnected to herself. The second was a family getaway to Paris, where her daughter had the time of her life.

When she's not moving like Jagger or hopping on a plane, Disha finds joy in simple pleasures, such as sitting quietly in a cosy café with a hot drink or catching up with her girlfriends over brunch. In her words, these little rituals help "fuel her body and soul."

The Cost Of 10 Minutes Alone

Moms, how far would you go for just ten minutes of peace?

One particularly exhausting day, Disha found herself hiding in a closet.

"I was hiding inside the closet just to get some quiet time. I was super exhausted that day, and I just wanted to have some peace and quiet. And so I stepped into the closet and had a moment where I did some breathing exercises before getting back out there again."

And as though led by some inept maternal instinct, she also favours the bathroom as a go-to hiding spot.

But what if ten minutes wasn't enough?

When given a hypothetical full day off, Disha didn't hesitate. With Supergirl by Anna Naklab on full blast, she'd book a hotel room, binge-watch a series, enjoy good food, and fully indulge in rest.

Motherly Advice

As a mom, pursuing time for yourself isn't always easy. Sometimes, it looks like hiding in the closet. Other times, it's fantasising about a full day of uninterrupted sleep. But one thing's clear: "Me time" isn't a luxury; it's survival.

According to a survey by Talker Research, over 67% of adults say their moms spend more time caring for others than themselves. Another 93% of mums admit they often feel burned out.

So, we asked Patricia and Disha how they put themselves on their to-do list. Here's what they had to say:

Patricia:

"As long as you just do your best and make sure that everyone's taken care of, then you also have to find time to take care of yourself because if you don't take care of yourself, then you can't take care of others, too."

Disha:

"I recommend prioritizing 'Me' time even when it seems impossible. Because without filling your cup first, it's not possible to fill someone else's cup. It will always be a competition between your child's needs and yours. But you can't take care of anybody else if you don't care for yourself. So, even if it is a few minutes, if you can go for a walk and listen to your favourite tune, I would recommend that more than anything."

If you find this helpful and relatable, share it with a mom you know.